Most people give up on their New Year’s resolutions for a logical reason: It can be too difficult to change. But why? The real culprit is perhaps that there is something you want more than the goal you originally set. 

For example, you may have started going to the gym before dawn, but you really don’t want to sacrifice sleep. You want to lose weight, but you don’t want the discomfort of restricting your diet or giving up your favorite meals. You want to improve your home this year, but you also want to save money and reach your retirement objectives.

Often the toughest disagreements are when the opposing party is someone you love and want to win over. For instance, your spouse may wish to gift funds to family members, while you want to focus on your retirement goal. Another scenario could be that you want to go out more at night, but your significant other prefers more intimate dinners at home. 

These examples illustrate why establishing priorities is important: conflicts are usually inevitable. The good news is that many conflicts can be resolved with creative solutions. So don’t give up! Searching for win-win solutions is one of the best strategies. This means that you can achieve your goal by removing the obstacle and gaining the support of the opposing party.

5 ways to resolve a goals conflict:

1. Split the Difference—This is an easy concept to fall back on since it essentially means to go halfway or aim for a goal that is half of what you would like to achieve. For example, let’s assume you want to pay off your house and increase your savings. If you receive bonuses or financial gifts, “Splitting the Difference” means you simply send half to your long-term investment account and the other half to your mortgage payment. Another illustration that comes to mind is of a retired couple who struggled to select where to spend their golden years. He desired a quiet, isolated home on a hobby farm, while she desired the excitement, sunshine, and social scene of Florida. So, they decided on two residences, and committed to spending 6 months of the year at each location. It was the ideal option for both.  Another illustration of this might be comparing college funding against retirement savings. Here is another situation where you could fund both to some extent, but not to the amount you would like if there was not a clear preference of one over the other. 
2. Change the Deadline—Perhaps you wanted to learn a musical instrument, speak another language, or pursue being a master gardener.  After starting the process, life circumstances stopped you in your tracks. Why not just change the deadline, and get back on track? If it happens again, just change the deadline again.
3. Live without it—The name says it all. While you would like to have buttered popcorn at the movies, ice cream for dessert every night, and pancakes on the weekends, your scale may show this conflict isn’t working out so well. So, you make the tough decision and live without it.
4. Modify a Few Things—The simplest illustration of this is with a home renovation. You can adjust a few things and add lower priority activities to a wish list if you don’t have enough money to do everything you want to do. A new kitchen could be required right now, but the basement’s completion can wait.
5. Change Everything—This can sound extreme, but you may know people who ended up leaving the country, changing employment, relationships, and even locations. Any person who may have downsized their home is a perfect illustration of this strategy. It’s possible that the dream home was such a money pit that it had to be replaced with a residence that allowed for financial flexibility and increased retirement savings. If properly planned and carried out, the “Change Everything” strategy can produce excellent outcomes. 

So many times, when you set a goal or New Year’s resolution, it can seem like such a good idea at the time. Yet the reality of trying to make a goal happen can be difficult. Perhaps the most important concept to understand is that when you start on a path towards a goal, setbacks and obstacles are inevitable. You may wonder why it is so difficult, but this is the exact time to double your efforts and re-work your plans.

What is a goals conflict? 

A great example of goals conflict is the recently passed tax legislation SECURE Act 2.0. This act seeks to encourage workers to save, but also provides many exceptions where taxpayers can cash in their savings early, without penalties. As with many “Modify a Few Things” scenarios, the outcome may be a bit of a complicated mess at times. But at least there is forward motion, and some change is typically better than no change.

Goals conflicts aren’t always a bad thing. Sometimes it is simply part of the process of achieving any worthwhile endeavor. We are always here to help you work through whatever conflicts you may have for the best possible outcome. So, feel free to reach out to us if you are feeling any goals conflict in the year ahead.

Kristina Bolhouse, CPA/PFS, CFP®

Vice President/Shareholder

© 2023 Kristina Bolhouse & The Arkansas Financial Group, Inc., All rights reserved.

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