We are now about two weeks from Christmas! Does that make you feel excited? Or stressed? Or a little of both? My view of Christmas as a child was very different from my perspective as an adult. As a child I was focused on what I hoped to receive. As an adult, I primarily don’t want to disappoint. I want to see my children and grandchildren have an enjoyable time, full of happiness and receiving something that they consider meaningful. Yet, I don’t want to disappoint. 

Amazingly, adult attitudes in the western world around Christmas have been recently studied. The chart below shows the “stress” attitudes of adults in the US, UK and Germany related to Christmas. If you’re feeling a bit of stress yourself, don’t feel like the Lone Ranger!

My first reaction to this survey is to realize how lucky I am that I don’t fall into the nine percent of American respondents that say “My family always fights over the holidays!” That’s not a form of stress I’ve experienced. My second reaction to the survey is, “What’s going on with the other forty-eight percent?” Are they just oblivious to the holidays?

It’s interesting to me that over forty percent of respondents feel stress from primarily dealing with their perceived expectations of others. Much of this is due to our inordinate focus on defining the happiness our family derives from Christmas in terms of STUFF. Humans are reciprocal creatures. We actually have an intrinsic desire to give, particularly when we have received.

Finding true joy

So the question I’m asking myself is “How do I best model this focus on the joy of giving for my Grandchildren? How do I help them to enjoy meaningful giving to others during this holiday season?” I’m reminded of the times we did things that have become somewhat institutionalized: Taking toys directly to children who have filled out “wish cards.” Taking a meal to a family that can’t afford a full holiday meal with all the fixings. Doing things directly for others that are true blessings to them. Seeing real joy and gratitude on someone elses face is the greatest lesson a child can observe. 

I have friends that have made these activities as much a family tradition as the giving of presents. I suspect forty years from now, I know which one my grandchild is likely to remember. This gives me two weeks to make that happen – no stress, just seeing true joy!

May you and yours have a great holiday season with the joy of being together and happiness that comes from meaningful giving to others.

Rick Adkins, CFP®, ChFC, MBA

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